Dear Co-Teachers,
We’re on the same page ladies. I swear. I want to teach more and make more creative lessons. The mannequin at the front of the class would very much like to come alive. I’m dying to, truth be told.
But shit, we got to do something about our communication. Because you can’t leave the room two minutes into class and tell me to “do as I please.” This is not the answer to our problem.
I often study the chapters and make suggestions, but let’s remember: no one has ever let me even see the lesson plans, much less make some. Also I’m often shot down because you gotta steam roll to get things done before the midterm.
But whatever. If you want me to take over a class, I’m all for it. Just stroll on by before the 9 o clock hour when I’m jammin’ a lammin’ on my headphones and let me know what’s up. And then I will perform. I will be your favorite fucking circus bear. But since I’m “assisting” with six classes a day, I need to be aware of things ahead of time so I can use my time wisely and bring that shit home the night before.
I know that’s not your culture but we’ve had discussions about that. You usually look very sympathetic and nod in understanding and promise you’ll inform me next time. What can I buy you to ensure that you will get messages to me in timely manner? Walkie talkies, messenger pigeons? We can make fly code names.
I’m going to be honest and say I don’t feel qualified to lead a class on the spot. I don’t have a degree in education. I have a degree in being pretentious and hiding in the library and in writing essays about the current state of enjambment in the New Thing poetry movement.
It’s also not my personality. I’m nervous anytime I tackle these public situation things. I can get over it as long as I don’t get attacked by said situation tidal-wave, pack of sharks style. If I can’t prepare, then I just act a fool as you and I saw today. But I’m a hard worker and a creative person who will do everything you ask as long as you respect my attempts to compromise here.
This would totally be a cultural moment if you read Tumblr, co teachers. Because I’m just sorting out my angry feelings on the internet like you do when you’re a totally mod, twenty something American citizen. I feel all ephiany-ish even though I’m probably wasting everyone’s time but my own figuring my shit out. Youtubin’ generation y’all.
I’m going to come to your office now and we’re going to have a chat about how you would like me “assist” you from now on. Because it’s cathartic to spill your guts on the internet, but it’s even more awesome if you’re pro-active in real life.
L8s,
Carrie
